Your wedding ceremony marks the beginning of a lifelong commitment to each other. Whether you’ve been with your partner for ten years or ten days, your wedding ceremony is a momentous moment on your journey together.
As well as personal significance, your ceremony is a way of honouring and creating tradition as well as making a public declaration of your commitment. In this article, we’ll look at the all important legal aspects, where to start when looking for a venue, how to choose your wedding readings as well as the role of ritual in making your day unique. I’ll also give you ideas about how personalised wedding poems can help make your ceremony that little bit more magical. Are you ready? Let’s begin!
What is the legal part of a wedding ceremony?
At a recent wedding fair, I had the chance to chat with a local registrar. He let me in to a secret – many people leave the legal aspect to the last minute. To avoid being nearly weds instead of newlyweds, registrars recommend you book their services as soon as you have your date and venue organised. Allow enough time to give notice of your intent to marry, as well as enough time to gather all the documents you need to show you are both legally allowed to marry. You can find out more about the legal aspect of arranging your wedding ceremony here.
Where will the big day be?
Or the small day. Size really doesn’t matter – what does matter is finding a venue that’s right for you both. You may long for a beautiful barn wedding, yearn for a celebration with yurts and alpacas, or love the idea of a traditional hotel with cheesetastic disco (and buffet). Think about what you love, what makes you feel at home and what you want to remember from your day.
Once you have a good idea of what you’re looking for it’s time to draw up a list of practicalities. How many people will you invite, will you have a wedding breakfast and evening reception, or go for a wedding weekend scenario? Perhaps you like the idea of a small event? Or you crave a huge extravaganza – remember it’s your choice.
When you’ve got your wish lists, it’s time to narrow down your venues. Wedding directories can be a good place to start, and local councils will have a list of licenced ceremony venues.
Who will carry out the wedding ceremony?
Selecting an officiant, often a minister, celebrant, or registrar, is an important decision.
- Ensure they are to perform your wedding ceremony
- Discuss any special vows, structure or elements of the ceremony that you wish to include
- Talk about readings, poems and any religious elements you wish to include. If you are getting married in a religious venue there are certain religious elements to the service that have to be included, so chat to the priest or vicar about these.
Writing your own wedding vows
You may wish to use traditional vows – these words have stood the test of time and do an excellent job of describing what marriage means. Your local authority or church will show you examples of what you may expect to say. The vows have include a declaration of your legal right to marry,and some form of contracting words.
- Declaratory words
I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I (full names) may not be joined in matrimony to (full names). - Contracting words
I call upon these persons here present to witness that I (full names) do take thee (full names) to be my lawful wedded wife/husband. I promise to care for you, to give you my love and friendship and to respect you and cherish you throughout the rest of our lives together.
Alternatively, you may wish to craft your own vows. This can give you a chance to make promises to each other that are truly personal and align with your values and expectations. Writing your own vows is a meaningful and memorable part of planning your big day and you can read more about it in my next post.
Music and wedding readings
This is another opportunity to make your ceremony truly personal. The readings you choose are a way to express the unique nature of your relationship, and speaking or hearing these words can be a moment to truly treasure. It’s a part of the ceremony that is beautifully enhanced by a personalised wedding poem and I’m always thrilled when couples tell me it was the highlight of their day.
Music is another important way to personalise your ceremony. You can use religious or non-religious songs and many couples have live music as part of their ceremony. If this is something that appeals, you’ll need to do a little research and book well in advance.
Rituals
Rituals are another way to create a memorable and significant ceremony. The lighting of a unity candle, exchange of gifts or a sand ceremony add another dimension your day and bring a sense of gravitas to the occasion.
Witnesses
Including close friends or family members as witnesses in the signing of the marriage register is a customary practice. Ensure that the chosen witnesses understand their role and the significance of their participation in the legal aspect of the ceremony.
Your wedding, your ceremony
It’s easy to become caught up in the ins and outs or what people will eat and dance to (and there’s no reason why not). Taking time to craft a wedding ceremony that is personal, meaningful and built around your relationship can take a back seat. Many of the couples I talk to say that spending time on the ceremony made their day feel as though it was as much for them as for their lovely guests. It’s a really important point I think and well worth bearing in mind when you’re putting together your big day.
Personalised wedding poems for your ceremony
I write poems that are easy to read as part of your ceremony – no tongue twister words or complicated rhyme structures (unless you want them of course). My work is personalised, beautifully written and meaningful. Poems are a perfect part of your ceremony and a poetry print is a great keepsake or first wedding anniversary gift. Contact me to arrange a free consultation.
Until next time
Kathryn
xx
Kathryn Anna Marshall 