Up and down

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I started to write a post on Friday. It’s title was Gah! which is an indication of how I was feeling. I haven’t really recovered from having fun a couple of weekends ago and I’m still a reluctant rester, so as soon as a little spark of energy starts I jump up and decide I feel better. This is a bad thing. I need to cultivate balance,  but that has never been my nature. Each bad spell seems to last longer though, so I know I need to change something and try to live in a more measured manner.  The problem is it all feels so measured now and I’m not sure how much calmer I can be.

Wobbly health has meant plenty of brain fog so studying has been tricky, even writing this is taking far longer than it should. I can still say I am enjoying it, even if it does take me an hour to read a few lines. I’ve been learning about technique which is something I really enjoy. It’s a bit like being given a new recipe to try out I suppose, one which has new spices that I’ve never used. I’m looking forward to experimenting in my next piece of short fiction, which is bubbling away in my head.

I’ve also had a leap forward with my work for the Hundred House and I finally feel I’m producing decent posts. I spent today taking photographs of a beautiful garden, watching chefs create great food and then tasting it. Not a bad Monday all in all. I use all the research to create blog posts that I hope will entice people to visit. Being back in a working environment is tricky and I find it quite scary but it makes me feel useful, even if it is only a few hours work a week.

All in all my Gah! feeling has waned. This is the danger time in a way, since I’m full of adrenaline having had an encouraging day, I need to be cultivate calmness. Unfortunately I seem to have more in common with an overexcited puppy than is entirely useful. I need more practice I think. Wish me luck.

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Published by Kathryn Anna

Kathryn is a writer based in Shropshire. She writes short fiction, flash fiction and poetry. She has no formal education in creative writing but she reads every poetry book she can get her hands on, and enjoys various online writing groups and courses. Kathryn has M.E., which brings its own challenges to her working practice, and means she has to monitor her activity with great care. Despite the frustration of these limitations she has reached her goal of having work published, thanks to support from Nine Arches Press Dynamo mentoring scheme. Kathryn has work published or forthcoming in print magazines like Mslexia, Popshot Quarterly and The Dawntreader and online in places like Words for the Wild, Nine Muses Poetry, Sledgehammer and Riggwelter Press. She was longlisted for the 2019 Fish prize for short fiction, and Paper Swans Press single poem prize in 2020. Kathryn is a columnist for Spelt Magazine, and has recently been awarded a micro bursary from Raven Studios in Shrewsbury to work on a new pamphlet. She also accepts private commissions under the moniker Poems from the Hare. When her health allows, Kathryn works as a freelance copywriter and can write confidently across a range of subjects, including travel, food, literature, hospitality and customer service. In addition to these core topics, excellent research skills means she can tackle subjects as diverse as muscle cars and dog training. She takes on proofreading and editing work as requested. You can find out more at her business site https://thewordemporium.wordpress.com/ Kathryn loves language and its persuasive power. Most of all she loves to write.

2 Comments

  1. Bryony says:
    September 11, 2017 at 5:57 pm

    I understand your danger zone of enthusiasm and adrenaline, having come out of a three monthish bad patch that seemed like it wasn’t going to end, now I’m all twitchy and over alert and paranoid that I’m talking too much. It makes me long for feeling a bit worse so it dampens all of that down a bit, I’d like enough fatigue to give me a comforting familiar mental blanket.

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    1. KathrynAnna says:
      September 11, 2017 at 6:50 pm

      It’s so weird. That feeling of talking too much is huge, I wonder (for me at least) if it’s just that I’m surprised by hearing my own voice. That twitchy feeling is horrible. Along with the voice that whispers how much it’s going to cost once you stop. I’m sending calming thoughts xxx

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