Not waving

I’m at an impasse. All efforts have been poured into one thing and the old phrases about eggs and baskets spring to mind. I feel as though I’ll always be an also-ran, always be “ok”. The worst thing about writing, publishing is that you put your heart,soul, tragedy, joy out for all to see and judge and judge they do. And dismiss, and disregard. I’m not sure I’m built for this. Brain and body restrict, courage falters and perhaps I should just stick to cleaning, cooking and gardening where at least I can see the results. Yet another place where I don’t fit. My solace has become a source of sadness. I wish I could go back to before I started trying.

2 Comments

  1. claire pennell says:

    No, don’t let the naysayers put you off. You have a huge talent and you clearly love it. It is easy to chuck stones from the sidelines but harder to put yourself out there and I guess this is something of an occupational hazard. Could you be having a drop in adrenaline after the production of Dust? It must have been such a close to home emotional project. Take the useful criticism for learning and the rest can just fuck off. Don’t let the internal demons take over, it’s not real, just imposter syndrome.
    People love your work look to them
    Much love Cx
    Regards Claire clairepennell@gmail.com clairepennell@gmail.com

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Kathryn Anna says:

      Thank you xxx

      Like

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